HARTBEAT

Recently, my hubby had to be away from home and I can vouch, that the saying absence makes the heart grow fonder, is true.

As hubby drove of in the very early morning hours.

 I experienced ambivalent feelings.

On the one hand I looked forward to having a little less responsibility,
more ME time.

On the other hand feelings of emptiness, loneliness even a little anxiety crept up on me.
 Part of me was gone.

I did what  I always do when I ignore my feelings, keep myself busy  with house chores, my daughter etc.

But ,when  I  lay in the dark, tucked away in our Queen sized bed. The distance  felt like an eternity between us.

Twenty-three Years together has passed in a wink of in eye.  All the differences, screaming  matches and icy-withdrawals, were insignificant.

I love his quiet strength. Dependability.  Faith .Pride in his family. Humour. Playfulness and many more.


Most of all, I love, that he is a living, breathing part of me . 

Something I miss when it's gone.  Someone who completes me.   Someone I would like to discover more of in the next 23 years              

In The Beginning......

My life began like any other birth. The air filled with expectation.

I drew attention from the beginning though.

complications at birth, premature and later diagnosed with cerebral Palsy. A condition affecting my mobility and tone of muscle.

Efforts were made to improve my mobility. 

Medical procedures,long Painful recovery periods, consisting of intense physical Therapy. 

All trying there best to get me mobile.

 51 years later and I'm still drawing attention from my motorised wheelchair.

yes, I know, It's  a bummer! But as I grew older I wondered if we,(I and all significant others in my life), have not missed the plot.

What if my physical challenge was not born to be cured or fixed, but to be a constant reminder that the outer man fades and the inner fights the battle?

You tell me?

Chit-chat-cheer